Let me light my butt.

I've been trying to keep off the internet because it distracts me too much. Before you open the browser you would tell yourself that, yeah, i'll only check if there is mail and then you are tempted to click "new tab" and you make an excuse like, "it wouldn't hurt if i just check new grounds for a couple of minutes and then you see a game that looks cool so you would say, "just one game wouldn't hurt," and then you find out the game is not one you'd find intersting so you check out the list if there are other games then your mind wanders off, you become crazy surfing the whole thing and when you get tired you would say, "i need to relax, hmm, i guess i'll just watch a movie in watchmoviesonline.com." And then time flies and you are enjoying yourself and in the end it dawns on you, "fuck i haven't done anything today." And more excuses arise. Plus, you'd look at the ash tray and realize how much of your life you've thrown away in vain.

If you've seen the monks on TV or if you've read about them, don't you just wish you are as focused as those guys are? Sometimes you may be unlocking the key to life and then something mundane gets your attention and all the great things and the great opportunity slides down the drain thanks to the rat gnawing on your attention span. Another excuse. Now we can't make excuses and we also can't blame ourselves? What can we do then? Act of course but how can we act if we forget to act when the excuses get the best of us? That last line was the biggest fucking excuse.

If you are given the chance to be on TV, what show would you want to be in? If i was skinnier i'd be in whatever show where people can always see me. A perfect example would be a talk show and me and my band will play in the part where they let a band play. But now don't think i should be found in TV shows because i won't fit in in the televesion. People who want to watch television wanna watch something cool not something-with-enough-excess-weight-to -be-considered-fat who have nothing to say. Now why is fat so depressing? It's vanity that is depressing. And i'm not vain i'm just giving others what they expect from a fat man: "not fitting in."

Have you been to a bra factory? I suppose you haven't. Not all people have the privilege to be taken there without requesting or willing to go themselves. If some topless ninjas with nice titties sneak into your room one evening and command you to help them steal the right bra would you come with them? For no reward? You might say, "Letting me live is reward enough." But the thing is they can't let you live. You have seen them and instead of living a life of madness afterwards they will forcibly give you the chance to die while your adrenaline is still gushing within. That is not a reward because of the idea that you have no choice from the point that they sneaked into your place and chose you. You had death crawling into your room that night. Now how is this a privilege? If you think you are priviledged in the sense that you have been a part of something, although fatal, is weird and is even too random to pass as a real life experience, you are right. Then there is a reward after all. It's sad that sometimes rewards shit paradoxes and vice-versa.

What if there are police in your mind that would catch you in your "before sleep state" and would shut you down on a coma that would last for how grave your thoughts that time were? And if your thought's are not grave enough then they leave you alone to masturbate.

Is there a bed you want Them to customize for you? I think they should make sleeping bags shaped and designed like cocoons so if some drag persons drank themselves to death and wanted a new life could crawl in there and wake up like a butterfly. Sad people could be drugged to sleep and their friends would build a ceramic eggshell around them so they could wake up to crack open into their new happy lives. Or you can make some designs shaped like wombs so people with oedipus can abort themselves and rape them as revenge. With that their urges are justified in a metaphorical way. Sleep is a beautiful thing if you can do it whenever you liked. Something out there drives people to drive other people to sleep or stay awake against their will. They rape your waking life.

You can never be too concerned with people that is not really of your concern. Who cares what happens in other places right? But no matter how much you stick to this something inside you wants to care. That thing, that monster inside you wants to come out and do good deeds for others, watch the news and bitch about the the government of a far away continent, wants to grab a belt and become a vigilante, and this thing, the beast, would take over you and give away everything you've got and leave you empty. At first it deceives you that doing good actually makes you feel good and makes your karma glow like the sun but it eventually comes to a point when the beast itself realizes that it can't do as much as it could it will be hungry and eat through your body and watch all the feel-good movies using you eyes and fill your heart with thoughts of hope that dissipates five minutes after the movie ends and the fats stack up and the repressed shit adds some more and then you'll look at the mirror and fool yourself that although you have fallen apart your soul is on it's way to becoming a sithlord.

The Electric Way is a way of life that thrives to maintain all the electric currents connected to your body using what they call a Kharmic Tie that you connect to your anus and would have all the glaxie's electricity sucked in to your colon and everytime you walk outside you will radiate that sagely glow. People who see you would think you're smart and all will want to go to bed with you. You can start walking this path now by building a Kharmic Tie. Step one, get a potato and shove it up there.

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